Monday, July 30, 2012

My ass is jealous of the shit that comes out of my mouth

A submission for your perusal to enhance your internet experience.... or.... what the hell have I been doing.....

 Go ahead, tell me how disgusting this is and how I shouldn't be allowed to Bloggerfy anymore.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

I Don't Like Change... and you damn kids get off my lawn

There has been some changes here at Rancho... bad, very bad.  People say "what don't kill your ass will make you stronger"  and to that I say.... look at all the crazy bastards... I've joined the crowd.  The crazy bastard crowd... I may need to re-title myself.

So, I'm still here at Rancho... floppin' around all crazy and wild eyed. 

I got it into my head to write some personal e-mails to the folks that had commented a few months back.  It didn't go very far.  One sweet lady no longer lists her e-mail and just because I have it... well, I hate to impose on folks... especially with a truck load of horror and crazy.  Like handing out horseshit and peanuts to the homeless.  Most just didn't have an address available.

I really, really hate it when people elude to some "secret" and then just leave you wondering ... I think I became of one those people.  I still can not revisit the details even in my head, so I will tell you as simply as possible.

You probably picked up that I was leading an "odd" life.  20 years ago I was as normal as the next person, then came a telephone call at 11pm one night.  My oldest son, passenger in a company car, in a coma and not expected to live.

I  kept him and cared for him for 20 years.  I rescued him from being killed my medical teams three times.... we needed some medicine.... and they killed him.  We knew they would, we stayed away from them for years and years... it was horrible.

To sort of wrap your mind around his condition, think of Stephen Hawking living in poverty.


So........Cable One is hiding out from me.  I've been trying to find an e-mail address for the thieving thugs.

My oldest daughter pays my cable....has for about a year now.  It really sucks when you can't help yourself anymore... there should be a law against getting old.


I was going to sell Rancho, I sure it would please the city to see the last of me..... but now I'm not sure I can leave this house.  I "feels" like my son is still here.... I told you.... I joined the crazy crowd.

Only two seven foot snakes so far this year (in the house), both non-poisonous..... so far so good.

Every time I use the toilet and that damn Eugene starts his cat stare.... well... I hurry things along.  He likes to look at the snakes once they get in the house.... he is such an asshole.


All these changes to blogger I don't even know if I will be able to publish this... just in case, lets wrap this up in a nut shell...

1.  I don't like change

2.  Lost my son in a horrible way

3.  Snakes still getting into the house

4.  Went bat shit crazy, forgot to buy a return ticket

5.  Cable One are thieves

Later... I'm thinking of getting dressed in July... this robe will probably have fallen off by then and "other" arrangements will have to be sought.... and maybe not........

Go ahead, tell me how disgusting this is and how I shouldn't be allowed to Bloggerfy anymore.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


Sometimes, but JUST sometimes, I wish I was a "self proclaimed" asshole.  Sadly, I am not ...

 When I have tried to be "nice" bad, really horrible things happen to me and to those I love.  So to the world at large I say..... I'm an Asshole!  WIPE ME you MF'ers.

Now that that is out of the way, let me get down to the "bidness" of all the glory here at Rancho.

I briefly entertained the idea of selling and just getting the fuck out of Dodge.  But then I thought... my work here isn't done.... but, poverty rears it's ugly head and I have to rethink my possibilities.  I need to buy a cemetery plot here in the city of Rancho... and a sizable marker. 

I have been thinking and debating on the epitaph for this "grave of all graves".  My name will appear on the marker (that goes without saying) but the epitaph.  I'm considering:  Here the Asshole lies... face down so you can KISS MY ASS.

I might add that I have ABSOLUTELY no intention of this being my final resting place... nor do I intend to have one for many many years to come.

Your thoughts on raising money and epitaphs will be greatly appreciated.

Now's a little something that one of my daughters in Chicagoland sent me....

In "other news" I am trying to answer those who commented last month with private e-mails. 

Go ahead, tell me how disgusting this is and how I shouldn't be allowed to Bloggerfy anymore.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

February, 2012

I haven't had time to read about the new Googlie-do policy.

FB has eaten the left side of my brain.... not to make lite of all the great prostitute contacts I get in my e-mail everyday from some sort of bug I picked up from my very first FB contact (remember? I wrote about the old flame I found...). The upside being that he gave me a computer bug in my old age and not a vaggie bug in my youth. Life always has it's silver linings.

Life has been worse than usual here at Rancho.... and that is a mouthful folks. I'm having to force myself into each new day. It has been my remaining children and friends that are pulling me kicking and screaming back into the mainstream of life.

Oddly enough, I think of many of you here on Blogger as some of my best friends. I think of you everyday.

There isn't anything you can do to help... if you are a praying sort then ask God to sort this for me.

I'm not the type to fall apart... I really wish I could.

If you read this... do a kindness for someone who can't help themselves.

Always, always, kiss your children and tell them how much you love them... even if you have a little asshole in the bunch. It is good to not have regrets.

Go ahead, tell me how disgusting this is and how I shouldn't be allowed to Bloggerfy anymore.